I raised my hands in church today. 

Both of them. Straight up. 

The last time I did so was early December. 

Before I fell, before I broke my shoulder, before surgery, before I became convinced that I would never again be able to do regular everyday things like raising my hands in worship of Jesus. I don’t know what it was about today that made me ready to try and do the seemingly impossible. 

We were several songs into the worship set and singing Gratitude by Brandon Lake. This one line, got me: “So, I throw up my hands and praise you again and again. Cause all I have is a Hallelujah”. As I stood there singing wishing I could do just that, something came over me and I thought “you know what, I’m doing this today!” Was it hard? You can’t even imagine! Did I use my good arm to get my bad one up? Yep! But you know what didn’t matter at that moment? The embarrassment, the fear of others wondering what I was doing, the pain and discomfort. None of it mattered. What mattered was God made a way, when there seemed to be none!

Maybe it was the song we sang just before – I Know A Name, by Elevation Worship. Here are the words that hit me today: “I call you Jesus, I call you, I call you Healer. Risen and reigning in power. Something comes out of the grave. Every time I call You Jesus. I call You, I call You Savior. Worthy of glory forever. Something comes out of the grave. Every time I call Your Name.” Then comes the bridge (I think that’s what it’s called at least – I’m not musically inclined) .

Chains break

Dry bones wake

Every time I call Your Name

The gates of hell shake

Every time I call Your Name

As I stood there singing those words, I wondered why don’t I pray like that and expect it to be true? The Bible is very clear when it says “every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is LORD” (Romans 14:11). So why don’t I pray believing that when I cry out to Jesus that He is in fact working and the gates of hell are in fact shaking?!

Maybe I finally got the courage to try to raise my hands because I was sitting behind one of my best friends who is walking through a season of hard -even though she is walking in obedience. Maybe it was because my daughter is walking through a season of hard, not of her choosing and struggling to find her faith? Maybe it was because I’m sick and tired of letting the enemy win the battle of my mind as well as those of my family and friends? I honestly don’t know exactly why today was the day, but I do know the ONE behind it, behind me, supporting me – it was Jesus and I know His name! And today I’m choosing to use the name of Jesus to shake the gates of hell!

1 John 4:4 “You are from God, little children, and you have conquered them, because the ONE who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”

Isaiah 55:6 “Seek the Lord while he may be found; call to him while he is near.”