Caution: Winding road ahead. I’m starting to better understand the idea of there being joy and beauty in every journey. Even when that journey involves walking through one of the valleys of life. However, if we are going to see and experience the joy and beauty we must slow down, perhaps even stop and look up. If you’ll stick with me through my winding and seemingly random thoughts I believe God has something for us all. 

I don’t prefer the fall season. Ask anyone who knows me. For me, fall brings two things that bring a whole lot of stress and anxiety. First, fall is the precursor to winter. I hate winter and think it’s dumb. I understand it serves a purpose, but personally, I’d much rather live elsewhere during the winter months. Secondly, fall is the unofficial  start of the holiday season. Holidays bring so many challenges and expectations, most of which are normally unmet. 

Early morning fall temps are great for running! Which I recently took back up, after an almost two year break. The cool and crisp morning air is so much easier to move in than the heat and humidity of summer. Fall mornings also bring some of the most beautiful sunrises I’ve ever seen. Maybe it’s just me but sunrises in the fall seem much more vivid and colorful than in any other season. Fall does offer things to offer like bonfires, changing colors in nature and cozy oversized sweatshirts just to name a few. But, honestly I find it mostly blah. 

This morning as I was trying to run up one of the worst hills in our hood, I looked up and saw one of those perfect and beautiful fall sunrises. Orange, shades of pink and yellow, it was beautiful. In that instant I was reminded of another reason I dislike fall. Two years ago, I witnessed sunrises like this pretty much every morning as I drove to the hospital to spend time with my mom. The first part of October was when she was diagnosed with cancer. I can vividly remember seeing the sunrises, worship music blaring in my car each morning as I drove to meet her. While we didn’t know at the time we’d lose her in just a couple of months, we did know that whatever happened it was going to be okay because God had us. 

My mom very much disliked my running. It was her protective nature as a mom, I know. There were so many times when she’d tell me “I wish you’d stop running”. You see, I have bad knees. Playing softball and volleyball have pretty much ruined them. I developed a love for running later in life, and running is pretty hard on already damaged knees. That’s the part of running my mom didn’t like. Even in her last days she was worried about her kids, trying to protect us. Back to this morning – about half way up the hill, something (actually it was Someone-the Holy Spirit) told me to stop, look up and enjoy the beauty of my journey. I was already walking, because that hill is big and long! But I slowed my pace even more and gazed at the wondrous colors God painted in the sky. 

Other memories flooded my mind from the last two months my mom was on earth. The countless days in the hospital, the numerous medical professionals we talked with, the bad hospital food that created so much laughter at times and family. During those two months as hard as they were, I/we were never alone. I spent more time with my mom, siblings, in-laws and extended family, not to mention friends during those weeks than at any other time in my life. It was special in a weird sort of way, not knowing who we’d see, but sure someone other than us would be there. This morning, God brought to mind not the pain from one of the hardest seasons of life, but the good that came from it. There was so much God taught me during those two months; the value of waiting, the importance of family, and that His plan is always perfect – even if the worst happens. 

Jesus called mom home on December 3, 2023 as she was surrounded by those who loved her the most. And while I’d give anything to hug her one more time and tell her I love her I can’t deny the good that God brought through her passing. Bringing just the right medical professionals at the just the right time. My uncle, who we hadn’t seen in years, came to town, deep lasting friendships were formed, and my daughter was inspired to return to school to become a nurse. Even on the hardest days, we found ways and things to laugh about and enjoy. Perhaps most importantly, people who attended her funeral heard the gospel of Christ. These are just a few examples of the joy and beauty that came from that particular journey through a pretty deep and dark valley. 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 tells us that “His grace is sufficient for you and that when we are weak, He is strong” (paraphrase). And Isaiah 55:8-9 that “His are not our thoughts and His ways are nothing like ours. For heaven is higher than the earth, just like His thoughts and ways are higher than ours”. (paraphrase). I share these couple of verses and these stories because they remind me that there is indeed joy and beauty in our journeys. Whatever journey or road you happen to be on today, my encouragement to you is to slow down and look up. Who knows what or who you just might see!