If you’ve been around church much, you know the story about how the disciples fell asleep instead of staying awake to pray, just before Jesus’ arrest. This story has always fascinated me. Recently, I reread the passage in Luke 22:39-46 and a thought occurred to me. How frequently do I choose sleep over prayer? It’s easy to get judgy about the disciples and their inability to stay awake, but when you really stop and think about it, don’t we do the same thing. Maybe not literally sleeping, although sometimes that is the case, but what I’m talking about here is more like sleepwalking through life. Those times and seasons when we allow ourselves to get pulled away by the things of this world instead of spending quality time alone with Jesus in prayer. Aren’t we, in a way, doing exactly what the disciples did? 

Walk this through with me, in this passage Jesus is praying so hard He actually sweats drops of blood. Now I don’t know about you, but I’ve never even prayed hard enough to sweat at all, let alone sweat drops of blood. We all know the story, Jesus is praying that God would take the cup of suffering He was about to face away. Meanwhile, we are over here praying about our bad day or how we really want to have a restful weekend or our team to win (yeah I said it). Sure many of us have real, big and hard needs, many of us are, in fact suffering or walking through an incredibly difficult season. But none of us are facing what Jesus faced! Don’t misunderstand, we absolutely should take all our needs to God. Scripture affirms that (Hebrews, 1 Peter, Psalms, etc.). However, at least for me, I can’t help but wonder how much I miss by not getting real with Jesus. 

When was the last time I prayed – ”LORD, not my will, but yours”– and meant it deep down in my soul? Honestly, I’m not sure, but it’s been a minute. I said these words during my mom’s final days, but I can’t say I 100% meant them. I wanted her suffering to end, but I also desperately wanted a miracle. The thing is, I think most Christ followers truly want to honor Jesus with our entire lives. We want to pray dangerous prayers, like “Your will, not mine” and mean it. But at the same time we want comfort, success, good friends, cool vacations and an easy life. We get easily distracted by stuff that honestly doesn’t matter in the end. We start believing the lie that we are too important or needed to take time away to pray, while at the same time can spend hours watching a football game, movie or talking with a friend over coffee. Why then, won’t we or don’t we give Jesus just as much time? 

I think a big part of that why is fear. We are simply afraid. We are afraid of what people (even those in our own family) will think, afraid of what we might feel or experience, afraid of what we might learn about ourselves. We fear not knowing how or what to say to Jesus. We fear doing it wrong, or allowing distractions to fill our minds. So we take the easy way out, make excuses and call or quick 15-30 minutes each morning with God, good enough. After all, we can check the box that says “had a quiet time with Jesus” or “read my Bible”. 

There have been countless times I’ve dedicated long hours towards something – training for a run, a big project at work, or remodeling a part of our home, even preparing to work for God on a mission trip or at camp. But rarely, and this is hard to admit,  have I been willing to give Jesus the same time alone in prayer. Why is that?! Why do I continually choose the easy way, sleepwalking through life? Maybe the bigger question is -how do I change? 

The answer is – I don’t know. That is hard for me to admit that I don’t have the answers, even for myself. This is something else God is teaching me- I don’t have to know all the answers, because He does! Our job is to simply, honestly and earnestly, seek His help and direction and then (and this is the hard part) – let Him lead!  Wait, listen and then obey. The truth is, following God is not a one size fits all kind of deal. It will look a bit different for each and everyone of us. But His call is the same- follow me!

For me, this challenge is starting with a more realistic schedule. One that involves me saying “no” to some things. Putting time on my calendar and then sticking to it! It involves asking God for help and direction, being honest to say “God, I know I need to spend more time with you and that is something I really want to do, but I don’t know how. Will you please help me?” It means praying prayers like the one found in Psalms 63:1-2 “God, you are my God; I eagerly seek you. I thirst for you; my body faints for you in a land that is dry, desolate, and without water. So I gaze on you in the sanctuary to see your strength and your glory”. 

Perhaps a good starting point is simply spending some time asking God and thinking about when and  where we are sleeping. Or asking a trusted friend or family member to point out those times when you are “sleepwalking” through life. Spending time alone with Jesus doesn’t have to be complicated, it just has to be genuine. There are no rules and it will likely look different for each of us. Will you ask God today to help you stay awake and pray? Read Luke 22, Matthew 26, or Mark 14. Be sure to notice that “so that” attached to why Jesus is asking His disciples to stay awake and pray.