The following is something I began writing December 1st, while once again sitting in a hospital room with my mom. On December 3rd, my mom left her broken body here on earth and ran into the waiting arms of her loving Savior, Jesus. Somehow while our circumstances have changed, the words I’m going to talk about take on even more meaning than before. I share this out of obedience to the call God has put on my life and heart.

It’s December and Christmas time. We often refer to it as the season of giving. And while, we are going to talk about giving,  perhaps not the type of giving you would expect. What’s the plot twist you might ask? Let’s consider the following three questions as a framework.

• What are you being called to give up?
• Are there places where you are being called to give in?
• What are you being called to give away?

Matthew, Mark and Luke all contain these words from Jesus “If you want to follow me, you must deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me” (paraphrase). For most of us these are familiar words. This verse or a variation of the words seems to keep coming up over and over and over again. Which typically means God is trying to teach me something. Since I’m a slow learner, the lessons take time. However, as we navigated the difficult road of our mom’s medical needs and now her passing – I’m starting to understand denying yourself in a whole new way. Self denial is hard! Some days I do so willingly, while others I do so kicking and screaming. At first I thought this was an issue with learning to balance all my stuff, with all moms stuff and family stuff. What I feel like I’m learning however, is that it’s not so much about balance as it is about giving up, giving in and giving away. 

While on the surface giving up, giving in and giving away may seem like bad things I’m going to attempt to explain why they are necessary and potentially good things. The word deny has many meanings in today’s culture. You can deny an accusation as untrue, you can deny access to something or someone. In sports, you can deny the opposing team a score or a play. Some choose to deny medical care or treatment. A person can deny their feelings or on occasion you may even deny yourself of something. But what Jesus is talking about here, I believe is something more. 

Jesus Himself gives us the ultimate example of giving up, giving in and giving away. In fact, the entire gospel message is exactly that. Jesus gave up His rightful place in heaven to come to earth as a baby and while He was here, He gave up His rights as King, choosing to serve rather than be served. Jesus gave in, by refusing to fight back. He simply took the beatings, ridicule and even a humiliating death. He didn’t have to, but He willingly gave in to the will of His Father. Jesus gave and continues to give Himself away in love and forgiveness to any and all who call on His name and asks. So when Jesus calls on His followers to have this type of self-denial, it’s not like He is asking us to do something He hasn’t already done. 

Mark 10:20-21 tells of a conversation with a young man in which Jesus tells him “to go and sell all his possessions, give to the poor and then follow Him” (paraphrase). In other words Jesus said “Give up all you have and give it away. Then give in to me by obeying and following.”. In John 13 at the last supper Jesus again gives up His rights and gives of Himself by washing the feet of His disciples. After doing so, He tells them to “follow His example”. Jesus lived  a life of self-denial as an example for us to follow. 

 Giving up, giving in and giving away is an idea that is woven throughout the new testament. The apostle Paul also writes about this concept in several of his letters. I love the way the Message paraphrases Phillpians 3:7-8, it is so clear! “The very credentials these people are waving around as something special, I’m tearing up and throwing out with the trash—along with everything else I used to take credit for. And why? Because of Christ. Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant—dog dung.” Paul, after his encounter with Jesus, lived his life as a man who understood the idea of denying yourself, taking up your cross and following. It’s apparent in many of his letters. Here are just a few examples:

•  Galatians, in 5:24 – “Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”  (Giving up)
• 1 Corinthians 10:24 -”No one is to seek his own good, but the good of the other person.” (Giving in)
• Colossians 3:3-5 -“For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Therefore, put to death what belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desire, and greed, which is idolatry.” (Giving up, giving in and giving away)
• Galatians 2:20  – “I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Giving away)

Peter also provides an example for us in self denial and in giving, even though he made some mistakes along the way. He started off strong by giving up his career in order to follow Jesus. I contend Peter’s issue involved giving in. He fought back at Jesus’ arrest and who doesn’t know how Peter denied he even knew Jesus following the arrest. His earthly nature took over and he was unwilling to give. Peter figured it out, it just took him a minute. Ultimately Jesus chose him to “feed his sheep” and start what we know as the church. 

When you think about this Christmas season and giving, my prayer is that you will consider making your own plot twist if needed. Think about if and where God may be calling you to give up, give in or give away. As for me, in the past several months I’ve been forced to give more than I care to honestly. I’ve given up my schedule, my time, my agenda, my will and more. It hasn’t been easy. I’ve fought back and made some mistakes, just like Peter. But God, as always, has remained faithful in His provision, peace and teaching. In fact He is the only way my family has made it through the most difficult week of our lives.

I am learning and beginning to see that some things I’ve held to pretty tightly really are not as important or life-giving as I once believed. Little by little, I’m letting go and choosing to give up, give in and give away. One thing I know for sure is that as hard as it may seem now, following Jesus and obeying his call will be absolutely worth it.