This morning my writing comes while sitting in a hospital room. We’ve been here for three days now with my mom. The first day we spent the bulk of our day in the emergency room waiting. You’d think things would move a bit quicker in the emergency room. I mean the term emergency would lead you to believe that things would move fast. I guess I should be grateful that we’ve never been in an emergency room situation that requires a lot of quick action by all involved? Oftentimes in my experience, there is quite a bit of waiting combined with a lack of information and clarity as to what’s happening and any sort of a plan. Personally, I find this extremely frustrating and discouraging. And can I ask an honest question here –how people who don’t know Jesus get through these hard seasons? Knowing Jesus and trusting Him, makes me thankful for a mom that introduced me and my siblings to Jesus at a young age. Because of my mom, we grew up knowing who Jesus was, how important He is to our life and how deeply we need to depend on Him regardless of the situation. Our lives have been forever marked with signs of His faithfulness and provision. 

As we were driving to the hospital that first morning, after a long weekend of being unable to get her pain under control, I was caught off guard by how scared my mom was and had been for a few weeks. You see, my mom has always been the strong one, fiercely independent and pretty stubborn. Especially when it comes to medical issues, in which typically she has a fairly high tolerance to pain. It’s hard to explain how her tears momentarily wrecked me. Then the Holy Spirit reminded me that we were not alone, so we prayed as we drove. Asking Jesus for the peace that only He can provide and for clear answers as well as a treatment plan. Pulling up to the ER my sister was already there waiting for us to arrive. It was Jesus’ gentle reminder that mom raised her kids to be like her- strong, independent and maybe just a bit stubborn. We now have the opportunity to be for her who and what she has always been for us. 

Then our waiting began. First we waited to get called to a room, then we waited for blood work, x-rays and other tests. We waited to see the doctor, waited for still more tests and more blood work. Once we found out she was being admitted we waited again, this time for a room to be ready and the scheduling of more tests. Today we find ourselves still waiting. Waiting on test results, pain management and to see a different doctor. Through all of which we hopefully get  the green light to go home, where more than likely we will continue waiting. All this waiting comes on the heels of several weeks of waiting for my mom to feel better, waiting for medication, waiting on direction and a plan. 

The irony of waiting is not lost on me. Waiting is a fairly common practice when it comes to walking with Jesus. How often do we wait on God? Maybe more accurately, how often does God wait on us? He waits for us to be ready to obey. He waits on us to finally decide to stop fighting and submit to His will and His way. He waits on us to give up total control and trust Him. I often wonder if God gets as frustrated with me as I get with Him at times? Not that I have any right to be frustrated-I get that. Let’s be honest, I/we want an easy life. We want to know the plan, not just for today, but for the foreseeable future. We want to know why, we want to know what and how. Personally, I’d love nothing more than a spreadsheet that outlined the plan, the participants and provisions for every step of my journey. Unfortunately, that is not the way God works. 

No, God uses the waiting to grow, teach, convict and change us. Oftentimes it’s in that waiting period when God does His best work. It’s where He gets our full attention. It’s where He reminds us that His grace is indeed sufficient (2 Cor 12:9-10). The waiting is where He reminds us that we are His children, knit together by His hands and that He knows all about us (Psalm 139) and that we can trust on Him, our everlasting Rock (Isaiah 26). Waiting is where He reminds us to cast all our worries on Him (1 Peter 5:7). 

Today, while we continue to wait, I’m choosing to lean into my Savior and trust that He’s got us, whatever results come from the waiting. I’m choosing to trust Jesus, casting all my worries and anxieties on Him knowing there is a purpose in the waiting. The other thing I’m choosing is to lean on my God given support system, friends who God has purposely placed in my life, allowing them to pray for, encourage and help when and where needed. You remember the story in Mark 2 where the four dudes basically rip the roof of a house to get thier friend to Jesus? Jesus has blessed me three friends like this! Interestingly, it was only two weeks ago that one of these friends lost her mom following a long battle with cancer. We walked with her through that difficult journey and there is no doubt they will now gladly walk with me through whatever this turns out to be. In fact, it  was only a few days prior to the start of our waiting when she asked me “when will it be my turn to lead someone else through the hard?” Isn’t God’s timing interesting?! God knew and God knows and there is not a doubt in my mind that amazing friends are one of life’s richest blessings. My mom has people like this in her life as well, her phone has been blowing up with messages and offers to help. God is indeed good!

We, at least I, too quickly forget that this life is not mine or about me. I gave up my life, all my plans and choosing my own way when I invited Jesus to be my Savior. My life is now in His more than capable hands, as is my moms. Our purpose is to live for Him, allowing our trials and waiting to bring Him glory and honor.