It’s early on a Saturday morning and I am purposefully up long before anyone else in my home. My purpose was to spend some quality time alone, just being quiet and being with God in the stillness and darkness of the early morning. But today, I’m finding it extremely hard to shut off my thoughts and just be still. The word echoing in my mind is balance and my lack of it.

Balance between to God’s word and quietness, between stillness and active obedience. Balance between processing, thinking, learning and choosing to move forward, leaving what cannot be changed in the past. Just like the apostle Paul talks about in Philippians 3.

Balance between hard work and striving to prove myself worthy to God, to others, to myself. Between patience versus procrastination and laziness. Balance between fighting for what I desire and believe in versus trusting and accepting God’s will and plan for my life. Especially when it seems like God and I aren’t on the same page.

Balance between control and the absolute freedom that true surrender to God brings. Between silence and sharing what you know you’ve been called to share. Balance between surrender and giving up. Between encouragement, support and help versus unhealthy dependency on another. Balance between obedience and pushing ahead and doing something because you are tired of waiting.

Philippians 3: 12-21 is the passage of scripture that keeps coming to mind. Specifically verses 12-14: “Not that I have already reached the goal or am already perfect, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus.  Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead,  I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus.”  I so desire for everyone I know to meet Jesus and grow in him, that I often jump ahead and try to take the lead instead of obediently following Jesus. Maybe balance isn’t even the correct word, but tension. Not the bad kind of tension, but the kind that is necessary for movement, change and growth.

In this new year, let’s go and do and share the love of Jesus with everyone we meet. But first let’s make time to listen to God and obey his instructions on when, how and who.

2021 didn’t end the way I thought or expected it would even in early December. For me, the loss of a friend and co-worker; that has absolutely rocked our church community and staff combined with the lack of hope and fear that I sense everywhere has my mind in overdrive. You see it’s so easy for me to begin thinking “I have to do more, be better, push harder, run faster and farther, change the world”. But the hard honest truth is those are not God’s words. At least not in the same the enemy twists them in my head. John 1:8-9 says this (speaking of John the Baptist) “He came as a witness to testify about the light, so that all might believe through him. ⁸ He (John) was not the light, but he came to testify about the light.” You see I’m not anyone’s savior – I can’t be. I’m a sinner in just as much need of God’s saving grace as we all are. But I can and should point the way to Jesus, who is the Savior of the world, the true light.

Yes, in this new year there are things Jesus will call me to do, places He will call me to go, words I will be called to share. But every single one of those things must lead to Jesus! If they don’t then I’ve once again I’ve taken my eyes off Jesus and began to sink- just like Peter. Yes, we need time to grieve, mourn and remember. Yes, we need to process, but we can’t allow ourselves to stay stuck in that place. We are called to more. Yes, we are called to work, yes, we are called to plan, encourage, help, lead, to go and do – but more importantly we are called to follow Jesus and his example.

Matthew 14:23 is one of the places we learn that Jesus “went by himself to pray”. It was a common practice for Jesus to spend time alone with His Father. This is part of following Jesus that I get wrong far too often and it is vital to our going and doing. Part of prayer is listening and making time and space for that listening. It’s impossible to hear to Jesus if we are never quiet! And regular time spent listening to Jesus is the only way to keep your focus on him and know that we are in fact on the same page.

In this new year, let’s go and do and tell the world about Jesus-the True Light. But let us first make time and space to spend listening to Jesus, ensuring our focus is on Him and His ways. After all this is His world, not ours.