This past Sunday as I was standing in church singing along to the song “Graves into Gardens”by Elevation Worship, a thought occurred to me that I’ve had some trouble shaking. About halfway through the song, there is a line “You’re the only One who can” those few words, captured my attention and struck a chord in my heart. For those of you who might be unfamiliar with the song, the lyrics preceding the line are:  “You turn mourning to dancing, You give beauty for ashes, You turn shame into glory, You’re the only One who can. You turn graves into gardens, You turn bones into armies, You turn seas into highways, You’re the only One who can”.  

Can I be honest and tell you the reason these words caught my attention so directly and completely?  I am weary. Emotionally and spiritually weary. This weariness that I have been carrying the past several weeks, is more than physical tiredness. Weariness is a different level or type of tiredness. You see, as a wife, mom, preschool administrator and leader at church I have this bad habit of picking up and carrying the burdens of others. Which often leads to over-commitment, which in turn leads to me feeling bogged down in all the “stuff” and I forget that I was never meant to carry these burdens. In fact I can’t, there is only One who can-His name is Jesus!

Many years ago I surrendered my life to Christ, which means I am not my own-but His! And just in case you don’t know- Jesus is so much more than anything I can even imagine. But, as a human being, it’s easy for me to forget that I have a Savior that walked and lived as a man, just like you and me. Even though I’ve grown up in church and am saved by the grace of God, somewhere deep in the recesses of my mind I can’t rationalize Jesus being “fully human and fully God”, so I discount the fact that He walked this earth just like we do today. Sure it was a different time and the circumstances were vastly different, but the feelings had to have been the same. I mean take a look at what He had to deal with and who His followers were, even His closest friends didn’t get who He was until after He had been crucified and resurrected. Talk about being weary! In fact Matthew 17:17 gives us a glimpse of this “You unbelieving and perverse generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me.” I could be wrong, but I can almost feel Jesus’ weariness here!

Hebrews 4:15-16 says “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way as we are, yet without sin. Therefore, let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need.” As hard as it is for my human mind to comprehend – Jesus gets it! This was such a needed reminder for me.  Perhaps my favorite scripture and one that I’ve considered getting tattooed on my body comes from 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 and says “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties, for the sake of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” What this says to me is; I don’t have to be strong, things tend to work better when we admit our weakness and ask Jesus to be our strength.

This idea of relying on someone other than myself was not a mindset I learned growing up in church. Instead I learned during some of my formative years and life experiences  that the only person you can depend on is yourself. It’s not like anyone ever sat me down and said those words to me, no, this learning came through watching my mom raise three kids on her own, while working full time. By watching other adults I looked up to doing lots of things-seemingly without any help. Honestly, this is one of the burdens I carry today, one I can’t seem to put down. It goes something like this – Have I inadvertently taught my daughters this same incorrect thinking, by the way I’ve lived my life with them watching?

So what is my point in sharing all this? It’s really two fold. First, living for Jesus all day every day doesn’t just happen. It’s a daily choice to surrender to His will, His plan, His timing and His ways. Philippians 2:5 “Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus…”. Easier said than done, right?! Secondly, surrendering to Jesus is not a bad thing, but a necessary one. It takes courage and faith in One who is greater than myself. Trusting Him with not only the outcomes but also the timing. I have been reminded that one of my assignments is to love people. That means loving them right where and when they are. Not waiting until they are closer to where I think they should be, not getting frustrated when one seems to be lagging behind, not choosing who to love – but walking through life with open eyes and open ears. Being not only ready, but also willing to stop, listen and engage with those I meet along the way. After all, isn’t this the way Jesus lived his life on earth and isn’t he the one I’m supposed to be modeling mine after? 

Our pastor has been teaching on generations for the last few weeks. He has been likening it to running a relay race where you receive as well as pass the baton. One of the questions he asked was “How are you running your leg of the race?”. That question has haunted me for days! Because my answer is- honestly not all that well many days. Far too often I allow this weariness to lead me down the wrong path, making foolish choices and unwise decisions. Before I know it, I look up only to find myself back on the wide road that leads to destruction vs the narrow road that leads to life. It’s a cycle that I tend to fall into and one that I can easily see when I step back and force myself to just stop and make and take time away for just myself and Jesus. 

Jesus himself says in Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me all you who are weary and I will give you rest.” You see there is no way I can live this life the way I am called to, the way I want to without following Jesus and taking His yoke on me every single day. He truly is the Only One who can!