I don’t want to be. I’d much rather be strong. I don’t like being needy, asking for help or admitting that I can’t do something or handle things on my own. I much prefer being the strong, self-sufficient, self-reliant one that others come to for help. In fact, admitting that I am weak is something I have fought against most of my life, writing this is even hard! I don’t want to weak, nor thought of as weak! Scripture however, tells me I’m wrong, going so far as to say weakness as something to be embraced.

2 Corinthians 12:10 says: “So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties, for the sake of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” These words from the apostle Paul, come at the end of a longer discussion about how no one should boast, even if the boasting is warranted from a human standpoint. He uses his life as an example for this thought, explaining that if anyone had reason to boast it would be him (2 Corinthians 12:1-10). Paul also tells us about a “thorn in the flesh” that was given to him “so that he would not exalt himself”. Paul prays to have the thorn removed, but God instead replies “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness”.

This scripture seems to indicate that I have this weakness thing completely backwards. Going so far as to say that if I want to access God’s strength, I must be weak. Not gonna lie- I don’t like this idea, because I don’t want to be weak! But, this isn’t the only place Paul talks about weakness. 1 Corinthians 1:27 reads “Instead, God has chosen what is foolish in the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen what is weak in the world to shame the strong.” And 1 Corinthians 12:22 tells us when speaking of spiritual gifts that “On the contrary, those parts of the body that are weaker are indispensable.”

The bottom line is that we, including me, were created needy and weak, made to fully rely, depend on and need Jesus. Scripture teaches us that it is in our weakness, God works. Why, after all, wouldn’t we want God’s power working for us, allowing – “God’s power to be perfected in my weakness”? Knowing and understanding this brings questions like: why is it so hard to admit, accept and ask for help? Why do I continue to insist I can do it all by myself? Especially knowing that I’m going to fall, fail and end up confessing my sin and mistakes. For some reason, even then I hesitate asking for help. Why? I could make excuses listing sins like pride, stubbornness, self-idolization, etc., that all play a role in my incorrect thinking. But when it comes right down to it, it is a refusal on my part to let Jesus have every single part of me. When I choose to try and “prove” my worth or ability, I discount Jesus and all that he has done for me. As hard as it is to admit, in a way I am saying “it’s okay God, I’ve got this, I don’t need you.”  And how foolish is that?!

As, I have shared before I consider getting a tattoo that reads “Sufficient Grace, 2 Corinthians 12:9” to cover a scar. This tattoo is something that I talk about frequently, but can’t seem to pull the trigger on actually getting done. Working through this scripture, I can’t help but wonder if the reason I have been hesitating is that I don’t really, deep down believe these words to be true? Maybe I don’t believe that God’s grace is sufficient for my weakness, and therefore hesitate permanently marking my body with the words. Maybe the tattoo idea is wrong and instead it should say “when I am weak, then I am strong”. Maybe the words should not be on my leg hidden away for a good part of the year, but on my arm or wrist where I can see them and be reminded that it’s ok to be weak?

Tattoo or not, only time will tell. But one thing is for sure, accepting my weakness, embracing it and leaning into that weakness is absolutely necessary. Coming to terms with my weakness is the only way to allow God’s power to work and shine through me. What was it that Paul said about his thorn -“so that I would not exalt myself”. Perhaps the scar that I hate, just as much as I hate being weak is a thorn to remind me that it’s ok to be weak, ok to ask for help, ok to need others. It’s the way God created us after all. This life is about him, his power, his glory, his worth, not mine.