I know what you are thinking – how could you even remotely be serious about this year being one of unexpected blessings, when this clearly has been the worst year ever. To be completely honest, my journal entry for today began with these words “I’m not gonna lie LORD, I’m looking forward to closing out the worst year of my life……”. But as I sat and recounted all that 2020 has brought, I was compelled to acknowledge that while there has been more than our fair share of sucky, there has been quite a bit of good as well.

While the quarantine of 2020 meant the loss of normalcy and brought disappointment after disappointment with the changing of plans, it also brought the opportunity to see and realize the many, many things I/we take for granted every single day. Things like the ability to go to church, school, work, hang out in coffee shops and eat out at restaurants. The hardest thing for me was the loss of church and the community it brought. I don’t care what anyone says – online church is NOT the same! But that loss forced me into realizing that I need people, which brought a handful of friends into a much deeper place in my heart and life. Ladies, that I’ve known for a good number of years, have this year become more than just friends, but really good 2am type of friends, sisters really. And if I’m being completely honest, I’m not sure would have happened without the losses we all were experiencing.

2020 also brought me face to face with my need for help. Through the encouragement of a friend and the support of my church I was introduced to a Christian counselor, who has helped me in oh so many ways. Yes, some of those sessions were hard and I almost always went to my car and cried. But those tears and honest confrontation of hurts, expectations and who I really am brought healing and freedom that had not come any other way. Again, if 2020 would have been “normal” I doubt I would have found the time or courage to make that first call. It truly has been life changing!

Summer brought the opportunity for so many laughs as our family produced our own version of “Mr. Ted Talks” for our children’s ministry programing. Let’s just say that some weeks it took numerous takes to get the video without a ton of laughing in the background. It also allowed for overdue graduation parties, wedding receptions and family get-togethers. The quarantine shed light on some commitments that needed to be discontinued. Because not being able to do certain things, made us realize we didn’t really miss them, which led to some long overdue conversations and needed change.

Fall brought a wedding celebration for my niece and the opportunity to see extended family, a trip to a women’s conference with a good friend and the surprise opportunity to reconnect with an old friend who just happened to be there too! Not to mention, the renewal or confirmation of what I feel God is calling me to, which led to the courage needed to launch this website. Again, I can’t say that any of this would have come about if 2020 had gone the way I planned.

As I continued to write and process, more and more of how God showed up became abundantly clear. Just in case you have any doubts – God showed up all over the place this year, just maybe not in the ways and places we wanted. I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it again – But God!! My journaling ended up filling several pages as Jesus brought more and more to mind. Things like-renewed relationships, fresh faith and hope, the power of community surrounding those in need and the reminder of how precious our freedom really is.

Perhaps one of the biggest lessons leaned is that I’ve got to stop relying on myself and/or others, but fully and totally on my Savior because He alone is more than able! God is in the details just as much as he is in the big things of life. If you are willing, he will grow you and change you a little bit every day. Small changes that you might not even realize are happening until you stop and look back at what was.

“Thank you, Jesus, you have grown me in so many ways this year. You showed me that I have a choice in all things. I can choose how I react, how I behave, who I believe, what to see and focus on, what/who gets my time and attention. You’ve reminded me how to sit in awe and wonder of who you are, all that you have done and how faithful you are! Thank you, Jesus, you are indeed GOOD and you amaze me all the time!”

The devotional I read, led me to John 1:16 which seems like the perfect way to end today. It says “Indeed, we have all received grace upon grace from his fullness”.

I love you all and thank you for taking the time to follow and read my ramblings. My prayer for 2021 is that our hearts, minds and souls will be captivated by Jesus!

Happy New Year!