I have debated about the wisdom of posting this most recent blog. Like the rest of you I am sick and tired of hearing about this stupid virus. But at the end of the day, I feel like God gave me these words, so I will be obedient to share them.

Like many others, my family has struggled this week. We have experienced disappointment, anger and fear. But we have also experienced joy and laughter. This morning during my quiet time I was having a super hard time focusing. Honestly, that’s uncommon for me. Over the years I have developed some techniques to help me through this challenge. But today was different, I felt myself getting agitated and irritated. What I realized is that I have been not allowing myself to feel my feelings. Let me try to explain. 

As a parent, leader, church member, Christ follower, I feel a sense of responsibility to act and behave differently. And sometimes that means standing strong when what I really want to do is run and hide. What I came to realize is that I have been stuffing all my feelings deep inside, not wanting to acknowledge them or let them out into the world. All that stuffing of feelings I believe is what was causing the agitation I felt. So, I gave my permission to journal through all my many thoughts and feelings. The Holy Spirit challenged me at the same time to see the good. The phrase that kept echoing in my mind was “Give thanks to the Lord, His faithful love endures forever.” Ps 136:1. For those of you who may not be familiar with this particular Psalm, I encourage you to take some time and read it. That is what I share today. 

I’m angry and sad because our mission trip to Ecuador was cancelled. I was so looking forward to it for many reasons.

But I’m thankful that we are home during this trying time. I cannot imagine being away from my family.

I’m angry because this week was supposed to be spring break for many of us and we have not been allowed to enjoy it.

I’m thankful that seasons still change. The sun is shining today. And warmer days are ahead.

I’m sad that I can’t go to the local coffee shop and just hang out and talk with friends.

But, I’m thankful for the technology that allows us to have late night text chats!

I’m angry and sad that we cannot go to our church building and worship together. And while I’m thankful for the technology that is allowing so many churches to go online-it’s not the same. 

But, I’m thankful the church of Jesus is not a building, but a people. And that I have a faith community to miss!

I’m angry that kids can’t go to school, and our underpaid teachers now have to figure out how to teach online, and so many kids are missing that safe space where they are cared for and fed.

But I’m thankful that so many schools, organizations, and businesses are making online resources available free of charge. And the many area schools districts are working to provide meals to those children in need.

I’m angry and sad for the many people who cannot work during this time, making it difficult for them to meet the needs of their family.

But I’m thankful that there are some good companies, organizations out there that are continuing to pay ALL their employees, regardless of their ability to work. (Shout to LPS for doing so-my daughter is getting paid even though KidsZone is closed!)

I’m angry and sad that I can’t see my community group girls and laugh with them.

But I’m thankful that because of apps like youversion we can still study and learn together. And it will be so much sweeter and special the next time we get to meet in person.

I’m angry that we’ve had to learn and use all these new buzzwords like social distancing.

But I’m thankful that God is good and He will use this for His glory and purpose! His ways are much higher than my ability to understand.

I’m sad that I can’t just pack up my laptop and go to one of my favorite coffee shops to write. 

I’m thankful that God is still giving me words to share.

I’m sad my family has been stressed out, angry and that I can’t fix this for them or you. And I’m disappointed that I have no control.

But I’m thankful to know a God who is and always has been in control.  None of this surprised Him.

I’m thankful for the hope I have in Jesus. 

I’m thankful to have a family.

I’m thankful to have friends to miss seeing and talking with.

I’m thankful to a church home that loves and supports its members.

I’m thankful for the technology that is allowing us to stay in touch.

I’m thankful for the peace and comfort of God’s word and that as Americans we have such easy access to it.

I’m thankful for Christian music that speaks deeply to my heart.

I’m thankful for time and space to gain perspective and see the many blessings that I have taken for granted for years.

I’m thankful to have a God that I can and have to depend on.

I’m thankful that even though I can’t- Jesus can.

I’m thankful that I can pray anywhere and anytime.

I’m thankful that His faithful does indeed endure forever!