A different kind of blog today. It’s been a while since I have made myself sit down to write, really it’s more like allowing myself the time to do so. And I’ll be honest there is not one free flowing idea today, just the desire and need to write. So we will see where this takes us.

This past weekend was a full one, we had a High School retreat at our church Friday night and Saturday. As busy as it was, it provided me with some much needed refreshment and refocus. Was it physically exhausting, yes. Would I trade the exhaustion for anything – not a chance! I will do my best to explain why.

First, my girls are seniors this year! When I say my girls, these are the girls that have been in my community group for the last four years. We have laughed together, cried together, had deep conversations together, gone to camp together and some of us have even gone on mission together. When they graduate in a few short months, it will be like my own daughters graduating once again. Excitement mixed with a bit of sadness, knowing that our relationship will never again be the same. Spending time with these young ladies, watching them worship Jesus and grow in their relationship with Him is something that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. 

Not only did I get to hang out with my senior girls, I got to spend some quality time with some of the most amazing fellow leaders you could ask for. Men and women who truly care about me as a person, not just as a volunteer. They encourage, support and push me out of my comfort zone by allowing me to teach and lead in different environments. I am truly blessed by the friendships that have grown deeply through serving alongside them. It is amazing how God intertwines lives and puts the exact people you need in your life at just the right time!

Our speaker, Jason Curry, is a man totally on fire for Jesus and has a gift for speaking into the lives of students and adults alike. He has loved our student ministry well over the past several years as our camp pastor and did not disappoint in the short time he taught us this weekend. Personally, the biggest take away for me was a story he told on Friday night at our kick off. Jason was relating a conversation he had with a young person who was feeling called into full time ministry. This person asked Jason if he got excited when he knew he was getting ready to speak to a group. Jason’s response touched a deep place in my heart. He said that the younger him did get excited. But that now it brought more of a sadness, knowing that some of those getting ready to listen to his message were that close to eternity with Jesus and yet somehow were going to miss it. As I thought about those words and continue to process them, my mind travels to the many people I see on a weekly basis that this is true for. Those crossing my mind, are even walking into our church building several times a week and yet very well may leave never knowing Jesus or even having been introduced to Him. That is not okay with me! 

This morning I woke up really early, even for me. My mind started replaying the events and conversations of the weekend in my head. Finally accepting the fact that my sleep was over I got up and hit the treadmill. More to process and alleviate some of the nervous energy coursing through my body than to get a work out in. So many thoughts and ideas, yet at the same time knowing full well I cannot add another thing to my already full plate. Which frustrates me honestly. Because I long to be used by God in a way that would share His love with those who don’t know Him personally. This is where my sin comes in and pride shows it’s ugly head once again. This life isn’t about me or what I want! It’s about my Savior and making Him famous and bringing Him all the glory. Jesus is the way maker, not me. His plan, His time, His way. Just because I see a need doesn’t mean I’m the only one that can fill it. In fact, in many cases someone other than myself is better equipped and more qualified. 

So what does any of this mean for me? I honestly have no idea. And that is absolutely okay, because God has a plan! I will continue to do those things I’m confident God has called me to for this season in life, while I pray about what may come next. Trusting God to move, invite and work not only in my life but in those around me. Thanking Him for allowing me these privileges and blessing me with good friends that also strive to follow hard after Jesus.  

God is indeed good!