One key ingredient in relationship building is spending time with the other person. One of the best ways to do that is setting up and establishing a regular time alone with God. This kind of time alone is called many different things; quiet time, devotional time, Bible reading, etc.. It really doesn’t matter what you call it, the real key is making it a routine and regular part of your day. For those of us who have grown up in the church this is something we have been told since we were young. The problem is, rarely are we given any guidance in where to begin.  The objective here is to share ideas and lessons I’ve learned, not to provide a set of instructions. In order for you to have a meaningful time alone with God, you have to make it yours. That means you will need to try different things, different times, etc.and figure out what works for you and your relationship with God right now. Different seasons in life, often call for different routines, just because something works now, doesn’t mean it will a year from now.

The first step is to free yourself from everyone else’s rules and expectations, including your own. I know this seems kind of ironic that I am sharing helpful hints for establishing a time alone with God and the first hint is telling you to forget about everything I’m getting ready to share. But I am 100% serious! One of the difficulties that we have to be aware of is that is easy to become so focused on following “the rules” that you miss God and what He has for you. Let me see if I can explain. We all have different kinds of relationships with different people. For example I have two daughters and I spend time with each of them but it looks different. While my youngest and I could spend an hour or more grabbing coffee and just talking. That wouldn’t work at all for my oldest, for one thing she hates coffee! But we could spend hours walking around an art museum and she would love every second, my youngest would be ready to go in about thirty minutes. The same is true for our relationship with Jesus, mine will look different than yours because while we are both His children, we are different people. The important thing is making and taking  time on a regular and consistent basis to spend with Him. 

The second step is to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Far too often we read, study or pray with the goal of marking an item off our to-do list or to complete the reading assignment for today. When we read and/or study with that being the goal, we can easily miss what God has for us. For example, the devotional I use each day will often only provide a verse or two. While there is nothing wrong with just reading what is quoted in the devotional, I almost always read enough of the surrounding verses to gain context and understanding.  And more often than not, it’s in the “extra” verses where I sense God speaking or leading me to dig in deeper. By contrast, you can also have a goal to read a chapter of whatever book of the Bible you are studying. While you can plow through that in order to get it done, you might find out that if you slow down, listen and think about what you are reading that God has something for you in one or two verses. When you sense that happening, don’t be afraid to just stop, listen and journal through what you think you are hearing. 

Don’t stress out if you miss a day. While consistency is important, life continues to happen and there are days that you will miss. You or your kids get sick, you have to go to work early, you are traveling and you just can’t find that quiet space, you oversleep, etc.. When these days happen and they will, just accept it and move on. Remind yourself that while you may not have had the time alone with God that you had planned or hoped for, He is still with you. He never leaves us, wherever we are, He is too. Turn off the radio while you are driving and pray instead. Take a walk on your lunch break, just you and Jesus walking and talking together, recall scripture you have memorized or what you read the day before. Ask God to show you where and how to carve out a few minutes in your day just for Him. I believe He will be faithful. 

Along the same line, we also need to be sure and take time to just listen from time to time. That might mean you skip a day in your devotional. It’s okay, I know, I understand and all the arguments you are currently having in your head.. I’m type A all the way. How can you just skip a day of reading? But what I have learned over the years is that God doesn’t fit into my schedule or plan. Being silent and just listening is hard, it takes practice and more practice. However, how can we expect to hear God speak to us if we never allow Him the time and space to do so. Here are a couple of ways I have found helpful to me in clearing my mind to listen. The first is listen to some praise music. Just a song or two, close your eyes, ask the Holy Spirit to clear away all the junk in your head and really listen to the words you are hearing. Another way is to choose one or two verses of scripture (the Psalms are good for this), read the words several times allowing them to soak deep into your soul. Once you are focused with a clear mind, just sit in the quiet and listen. Start off small, shoot for 5 or 10 minutes, you can always increase the time later. I’m not going to lie, this is a hard spiritual practice to learn. I still struggle with it as well. I do believe that it is important and can be a very special and sacred space.

Once again, these are just some of the things I have learned and find helpful. You have to make it your own. Let me know if you have questions or I can help in any way. And if you are finding these helpful, check back in a few days for the next installment where I hope to talk about the importance of having a plan and how to go about developing one.