Early in our marriage my husband like to play the “What if” game.  I disliked this game very much.  He would say want to play “what if”, and would think no, no I don’t but would suck it up and say “sure”.  At this point he would ask some off the wall what if question, like what if we had a million dollars, or what if you could buy any car you wanted to, or some other fanciful question.  I found this to be extremely frustrating because we didn’t have a million dollars and there were zero prospects of us coming into that kind of money, so why dream about what life could be like and all the places we’d like to go, things we could buy and do, etc..  For me the questions only served to point out what I couldn’t do or have.  Thinking back on it, I don’t know why the game frustrated me so much.  I guess it has something to do with the fact that I have always prided myself on being practical and responsible.  Those questions involved too much dreaming and way, way too many unknowns.  He will be quite surprised to find out that I have had a change of heart of sorts.

Several days ago I was feeling pretty frustrated about a number of things that just didn’t seem to be going the way I wanted them to go.  Failing in the same way over and over again gets old and hard.  The thought occurred to me out of nowhere (enter the Holy Spirit) “what if today was the day?”  It was as if God were saying to me “What if today was the day that you once and for all gave me that one piece of your life that you are holding on to so tightly?  What if today was the day that you finally conquered that addiction to fill in the blank (social media, TV, chocolate, shopping, etc.).” The more I thought about it, the more I thought yeah what if today was the day?  What if I actually believed that today was the day?  As I went about my day I found myself thinking about it frequently.  The more I thought about it, I found that I was making different choices about what I did and how. I was praying more in the moment “God, help me choose wisely here.”

This past weekend I ran outside for the first time in a couple of months.  For those of you who don’t know this- running outside is a lot harder than running on a treadmill.  It was hard and I knew it was going to be when I left, but the weather was perfect and you just don’t get that many perfect weather days in January.  Mid run about the time I would normally take a walk break that “what if” question popped into my mind again.  What if today was the day I didn’t take a walk break, but kept running.  So I did! I eventually did have to take a walk break, but I made it quite a bit further than I normally do which gave me the courage to try again when I came to “The Hill”.  This hill (76^th street, for those of you who are familiar with where I live) has been my nemesis for quite some time.  I find it daunting, so I psych myself out before I even get there and think I’m almost to the hill so I guess I’ll stop running and walk up it.  That day however, feeling strong and confident, I thought why not ask an even bigger what if question, ‘what if today was the day I conquered the hill instead of letting it conquer me’.  Again I prayed in the moment.  The entire time up the hill “Jesus you are bigger than this hill, please get me up it”.  Much to my surprise I was able to run up the entire thing!  I don’t share that story to brag about what I did, but to illustrate my point-God is ready and waiting for us to ask these “What if” questions.

I have come to realize is that far too often I pray about something that I am struggling with, but then don’t change my behavior.  I am praying assuming that my prayer won’t be answered or that I will fail once again, so I don’t even try to behave differently.  Just like with running up “The Hill” I psych myself out before I even get there.  This is not what God has intended for us.  He calls us to live in victory, not defeat.  Here are a few scriptures that support this:

1 John 4:4 “Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.”

1 Thessalonians 2:12 “we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.”

1 John 5:4  “For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.”

Deuteronomy 20:4 “for the Lord your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory.”

As silly as it sounds this simple little question that God reminded me of has really started to change the way I think and act about certain things. It has caused me to pray more in the moment.  Who knew that all those years ago my husband was on to something that I desperately tried to avoid!  The question becomes what is your “What if”?  God is ready, waiting and more than able.  Will you ask Him to help you today with a what if of your own?