On Saturday night we had some significant storms in our area.  Many people lost power during that storm.  Our home was one of those affected.  When the lights first went out, I didn’t think much about it.  Normally when this happens, it’s a couple of hours, at most, before everything is back to normal.  That was not the case this time; we went the entire night and all day on Sunday without our power being restored.  And you all know how blazing hot it has been, so without power it did not take long before our house was uncomfortably hot!  I know most of you reading this know all that, but the back ground information will make sense soon, I promise.

Sunday morning rolls around and we head to church, making a quick stop at moms to use your electricity and then QT for coffee.  Once we get to church, everything is pretty normal.  Maybe it’s just me, but sometimes I find myself on auto-pilot at church.  You know what I mean, you have a routine, you talk to certain people, do certain things, sit in your seat, you know the order of service, etc..  You are there, but maybe not fully engaging.  This was one of those days for me.  Not to mention that I was fairly irritated by this whole being without power situation.

The service was going along as normal.  We started singing “Holy Spirit, You are Welcome Here.”  That’s when I guess you could say the Holy Spirit got my attention.  I started actually paying attention to the words I was singing.  “There is nothing worth more, that will ever come close.  No thing can compare, You’re our living hope.  Your presence Lord.”   This is a familiar song to me; I have sung these same words countless times.  More than likely some of those times I have even had my hands raised in worship.  But today, they cut me to the core.  Why?  I was confronted with the thought that I was singing words I didn’t fully believe.  Yep, you heard me right.  All of sudden I thought “is this really true for me”?  “Do I really believe that nothing can compare to Jesus?  That there is nothing that can come close to being in his presence?”

The thing is I know what the answer is supposed to be.  What it should have been for me.  But in that moment my first thought was “power and air-conditioning that could be come close.”  Quickly followed by “really, am I so self-centered that I am comparing having electricity with being in the presence of God?”  At the time it was a seemingly small thing, I pushed the thought out of my mind and tried to more fully engage in the worship service.  But as they day progressed, I found myself continuing to wrestle with this question and the thought of what do I want more?  Being completely transparent, all I could think was how badly I just wanted my life back.  My home, my routine, my stuff, my schedule, etc..  Mind you it had not even been a full day that we had been without power and we weren’t even really suffering.  We were at my mom’s enjoying her electricity and air-conditioning.

What is my point here?  If we pay attention and don’t ignore those small promptings we get from the Holy Spirit, we just might learn something.  Here is what I am learning about myself:  I put way too things ahead of God.  This isn’t a new thing for me; it’s something I’ve struggled with my entire life. It’s something that more than likely I will continue to struggle with because, well, I’m human.  But, it goes much, much deeper than I realized or understood.  These past two years have been some of the most difficult and challenging times my family and I have ever experienced.  The one prevailing thought I have had –“I just want my life back”.  Do you see the problem there?  I want my life, not the one God has for me.  And the real kicker is that He has been the one constant throughout all of our ups and downs.  Always here, gently nudging, growing, convicting, loving and providing for us.  Yet, here I am thinking I want air-conditioning more than God.  Clearly I’ve still got some work to do breaking down the idols of self and comfort.

How about you?  What kind of power do you want?  God’s power, that never, ever runs out or the world’s undependable power?  I encourage you to spend some time thinking and praying about it.  You just might learn something.

Romans 8:28 says “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”  Isn’t it amazing how God uses “all things” silly little things, like losing power “for good” to convict us deeply and grow us!

P.S. Our power did get restored about 10:00 Monday morning.  Thanks Mom for letting us hang out at your place!