Music can sometimes say what I’m struggling to say so much better than I can say it myself. For instance take the song “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing”; one of the verses goes like this:
O to grace how great a debtor
daily I’m constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter;
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.
Recently I have found myself singing the words to this song. I find it convicting, yet at the same time comforting. This verse in particular says exactly what I have been feeling “prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love”. You see, I am prone to wander. I know it and God knows it. Even when I am aware of my tendency to do so, I still can’t seem to stop myself from wandering away. I don’t know why I wander. I guess part of me still believes my way is better? Or maybe it’s my pride yet again telling me that I can handle this one thing on my own? Maybe my wandering has to do with misplaced love, even though I know God is always the best, this thing over here seems pretty good at the moment. It’s kind of like choosing between and apple and a warm chocolate chip cookie. I know the apple is the best choice and better for me, but man does that cookie smell delicious! And really is one cookie going to hurt me? The problem is, for me at least, I can’t just eat one cookie. My poor choices become more of a habit than a conscious choice and I find myself wandering yet again.
It easy for me to get frustrated with myself when I wander away from God. Time and time again, He has proven His faithfulness to me. Yet, when it comes right down to it, I still doubt. I don’t know how many times I pray about something and then immediately launch into fix it mode. Instead of waiting on God and trusting in His plan and working. My fixing is really me wandering away and trying to do life on my own again. Before you know if I have myself saying to God “I know, I did it again. I’m sorry.”
Here is another interesting thing I find in music? I often sing words without truly knowing what they mean. The line right before the wandering part of this song says “like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to Thee”. Now maybe it’s just me, but until I looked it up I had no idea what a “fetter” was and can honestly say I’ve never used it or heard it used in a sentence other than in this song. According to Merriam Webster’s dictionary fetter means: a chain or shackle for the feet; something that confines. A restriction or constraint. Doesn’t that make so much more sense now? The song writer is actually asking God to use a chain or shackle to bind his wandering heart to God! Sometimes I think that would be so much easier, actually being chained to God. I would never get very far and the chains would be a constant reminder of who I am and who the Master is. But God, in his great plan doesn’t want that. He gives us free will; we get to choose where we will go and who we will follow. He deeply desires us to choose Him, but He does not make us choose Him or stay.
This particular verse ends by saying “here’s my heart Lord, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.” This is my prayer. For me it has to be daily one, reminding myself that I am a wanderer by nature and I need help to stay with God and keep my focus on Him.
Here is a link to a YouTube version of Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing. Why not just take a few minutes to listen to the words and let them sink in to your soul. Maybe even turn the song into a prayer.
Captivated Hearts 
Lori: Thank you for your thoughts!! Amazing how akin they are to mine when I think of this song. I find myself singing it often and thank the Lord for the reminders it brings.
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