Recently I attended a summer camp with our church’s students.  And yes, even though camp is designed for students, I always come away with learning something.  Anyway, this year a question came out of a quote that was shared.  I won’t get the exactly right, but it went something like this:  “Our identity is shaped by how we think the most important person in our lives perceives us.”  The idea makes sense on the surface level, the problem for me came when I tried to identify who that “most important” person was in my life.  Trying to wrestle that to the ground became quite eye opening and convicting.

Everyone who has spent any time in church knows the right answer to this question is God.  Actually, this reminds of a joke my husband likes to tell- A dude is teaching his Sunday school class and asks “What is brown and has a bushy tail?”  A child responds “Well, it sounds like a squirrel, but I’m gonna say Jesus.”  While this is a corny joke, it’s not hard to see how quickly us “church folk” are trained in the right or at least politically correct church answers.  The problem is those answers are rarely thought about and seldom honest.  As for me and this question of who is the most important, I quickly knew the honest answer for me was not God.

Fairly quickly I realized I had a problem, because as a Christian it really should be God.  Before I could address that issue, however, I needed to figure out who that person was.  I wondered briefly if it could be my husband, but it’s not him.  I started going through a mental list of the people most important to me:  my children, my mom, friends, co-workers, ministry leaders, etc.  None of them really seemed to fit either.  While they are all important, I could not honestly say any of them were the most important.

This is about the point when the conviction hit – it was me!  The most important person in my life was myself.  As hard as I tried to deny it, very clearly I became aware of the fact that the most important person in my life was myself.  When I started looking at how my life had been set up and how I lived everyday it made sense.  My schedule, my list of “to do” items, my needs, my desires, my friends, my objectives, my plans, my thoughts, my feelings and ideas.  The list could go on.  I was living life in a way that said “it’s all about me”.

Getting back to the quote, my identity was/is being shaped by myself and what I think and feel is important.  As a follower of Christ, these realizations brought to light a level of self-centeredness and sin that I had not realized ran so deep.  Don’t get me wrong here, we all need to take care of ourselves and take some “me” time.  But to live every day with my main priority being myself is out of whack!

I had to step back and look at my life to figure out what needed to change and how to go about doing that.  It started with a serious conversation with God and seeking his forgiveness and help.  And I freely admit I do not have this figured out yet.  It is a daily struggle against pride and control.  But I am more aware of it and God is helping me through it.

What about you, who is the most important person in your life?  How are they influencing you and should they have that much influence over you?   If change needs to happen, why not make a list of some tangible steps you can take to start the process.  And then find someone who can and will keep you accountable.

Mark 12:30 “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”

Leviticus 26:1 “You shall not make idols for yourselves or erect an image or pillar, and you shall not set up a figured stone in your land to bow down to it, for I am the Lord your God.” *(idols can be people too, including ourselves).